Remember the last time you tried to change another person’s opinion about something? Did it work? Why not?
As all the philosophers and thinkers and authors agree upon, and as we always keep forgetting… we are what we repeatedly do!
The belief in something, or in ourselves, is on a constant feed from the actions we take in the patterns of our daily transactions. We act, we get results, these results boost our beliefs in our potential… positively as well as negatively.
Those beliefs then take charge of our actions, our behaviors, and hence, the results we get from them, and the cycle keeps on going and going. In our conscious mind, only the actions and results are obvious, but in our subconscious, where the decisions are made, based on our emotions at the time, at the place, the beliefs are the one dominating the scene. They are the ones that really make us do what we do, think what we think and act the way we do.
Those beliefs are the juice of the years of attributes acquired, experiences, good and bad situations, and most of all, most of all… programming.
The things your parents used to say in front of you, or to you, the phrases you heard in your smaller to bigger circles of society made you, subconsciously, the person you are today. Now, is everything that was said, the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth? Obviously not…
I knew later in life that a lot of what I was told, was not even close to the truth. I saw and experienced the ones who told me those stuff in situations where they acted completely the opposite of whatever they preached, and I knew, I had to constantly keep learning, and that nothing is taken for granted, most of all, Knowledge.
Isn’t it ironic though, that you were able to change your perspective about a lot of things in life, yet, some of those old beliefs, mainly related to culture, society, relationships, and faith, are still very solid and structured in your mind? Why then?
In order to evolve, and trust me, you have a very short period called life to do so, you’ve got to benefit from those fishy idioms that were never secure: “the benefit of the doubt”, “flexibility” , “maybe I was wrong”; after all we all have values that makes us what we are, and I am not trying to doubt them here, but rather trying to see things from different perspectives, especially the things that we did not earn experience about, but rather were programmed on since our birth, undoubting and unwillingly.
I have a special relationship with my father, and am always eager to have our usual conversations were we exchange visions and thoughts; in one of our coffee chats, and building on his experience as a banking executive, I mentioned the foreign currency exchange as a new emerging business, and I was telling him how this is growing to be a fast money making business, and that a lot of executives are preferring it from their regular jobs; he didn’t wait a lot before he interrupted me angrily, and his voice suddenly changed to the aggressive parental directing tone, accusing this whole business to be pure gambling. As I tried to explain how forex evolved nowadays, and that the decisions of buying and selling are nowadays based on reports and on solid market assumptions, and that online trading became handy and secure, he even did not want to listen, with the same tone, closing the subject once and for all.
This belief my dad had about this topic was rigid to change, since it was a result from his own experience in banking throughout 30 years, maybe more, during which he saw giants fall from their foolish trading that was not based on market assumptions, but rather on pure intuitions, and when was that? During the years when Lebanon was in a civil war, of course, back then, not even the constitution was a concrete practice, not to mention there was no internet or any technology that is currently being used by or for forex trading.
What I am trying to imply here is that we often have beliefs that are worth a second visit, the example above is simple compared to beliefs in crucial matters such as family, race, gender, sex, friends, and relationships, even on jobs.